What's in a name

Assigning you a name has been much harder then we imagined. After pouring over name books and looking through our genealogy charts, we had created several short lists but made no conclusions. It was a conundrum but we weren't worried yet. The theory was that you would arrive and your face would speak to us revealing the final answer.

Well, you are here and your face speaks volumes. Mostly is says "OMG - YOU HAVE A BABY!" It has yet to reveal a single suitable name.

Alas, you left us on our own and boy did we struggle.

You were Josephine for one day (it is a name we still love and if you end up with a sister, it may pop back up again). Then we called you Lucy and then it went back and forth for the rest of our three days in the hospital. Checkout time arrived and we had only to write down your name on the hospital forms before we could pack up and go home. We studied your face again and again. Your dad is captured doing so in the photo below. 

Finally, your dad gave me the pen and told me to write down whichever I thought best. It got so tense, grandma had to leave the room. After a few agonizing minutes and a gallon of sweat, I took a deep breath and made it official. 

Lucy B Josephine

Lucy is the name of two of your great aunts on your dad's side. Jeremy remembers Grandpa Crow talking about one of them as Granny Lucy. I don't quite have the stories of the two women straight so I won't attempt to write them down yet but we are finding out they were unique and spirited people. Some of their adventures sound a little wild but I certainly admire their spunk. It will be fun to learn more about them.

What does Lucy mean to me?
Kind, spirited, intelligent, humorous, strong, happy, adventurous, calm, down-to-earth, fun, always goes to bed on time, always eats her vegetables. Well, maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself. But I do love the name and I dearly hope you will too.

Your middle name B is for your great grandmother Beula Worthen who has gone by the endearment B for most of her life. B has been a kindred spirit to Jeremy since he was a very little boy and she helped to take care of him. Over the past 10 years, we have spent a lot of time with B and her home has become a haven to us both. She is funny and intelligent and wonderfully human. I just adore her. Right after we found out you were a girl, we were both certain your middle name should connect you with and honor her.

B is the family historian and has written several books chronicling the Worthen family life. She is now 81 and still in good health. I hope there will be time for you to get to know her in life but I'm also glad you'll always have her books to guide you when she has passed on.

And after all that, these days I mostly call you baby cakes, sweet pea, cuddle muffin or other deliciously sweet names. I can't help it. You are just so adorable I could eat you up. 

Welcome baby - birth story

Only in the few weeks before you were born did I start to realize that this was all real and happening. We were going to have A BABY! I was going to have to GIVE BIRTH! I thought the final "nesting" would be consist of a little neurotic cleaning but no - for me it was mentally coming to terms with things I had known for months but apparently not fully accepted. Don't get me wrong - we knew you were coming. We wanted you and had been planning on you coming for years. In fact, I was afraid my heart would break if something happened to you so I held out until the end to finally believe.

I went through all the emotions and frantically tried to prepare. I wondered what you would look like, worried that there might be something wrong with you (something that hadn't even dawned on me until the end), and agonized over how to prepare for The Birth - sending Jeremy on errands for supplies I thought might help but we never used (someday you'll play with some beautiful pink tennis balls).

Luckily, your aunt Angela took pity on me and showed up just in time to help me through the last few days and the birth. She was amazing and her stories about birthing cattle calmed me right down (pretty surprising since they mostly consisted of pulling calves out with chains, sewing the poor cows up with shoe laces, and other such pleasantries). We even took time to relax for deluxe pedicures.

My water broke early on May 6 and IT began. I was thrilled to be on our way and so excited to meet you. I didn't have any pain and didn't seem to be having contractions yet so we stayed home and took some walks through the neighborhood. Walking into Fred Meyer, I was thinking of all the people around me having no idea that something so monumental was happening to me Right! Now!

In the afternoon, we made our way to the hospital, still relaxed and excited. The admission nurse confirmed that my water had indeed broken but I was only 1 cm dilated and wasn't really having contractions yet. They put me in hospital gowns and sent us out to walk the grounds and get things moving.

By late evening, I was tiring some but still not in pain. I was starting to worry that things would never move along and I'd have to have to go through all this and then have a c-section afterall. The doctors reassured me we had plenty of time and I could labor for another day or two if that's what it took. I was pretty discouraged but still excited. Finally, around 1 in the morning, they put me on Pitocin and the contractions picked up immediately. Wow - the pain is very real. I realized all too fast that what I'd been feeling up to this point was hardly hitting the radar and there was still a long way to go. Worse was knowing that I was still at 1 cm and the pain wasn't getting us anywhere. The nurses kept talking me through the contractions, telling me I needed to relax to let the contractions bring you down but I simply could not relax; the pain was much too intense.

Around 6 in the morning, I was reaching a breaking point and the nurse told me about my pain relief options. I opted to go straight for the epidural and hope it wouldn't stop the labor. That turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. First - right after I got the epidural I felt relief and was able to relax - so much so that I got a couple of hours of sleep. And second - it didn't stop the labor but allowed my body to relax and finally get somewhere with the contractions.

They came in to check my dilation around 11:30 and in my mind I was thinking - "Please let me be at 4 - if I'm at 4, I think maybe we'll make it. If I'm still at 1, I'm going to feel despair." I literally cried with happiness when they told me I was at 6 and you would be coming in the next few hours.

Grandma's plane came in around noon - and she arrived at the hospital just in time for the final stages of labor. I don't think she anticipated being there to see me push you into the world but there she was - and she and Angela were right there in the room with us which meant more to me than I can say. Being so far away from the family, I was so afraid I would feel alone during the end and it was such an amazing gift for me to have them there. I will always be grateful for their presence.

The last couple of hours of labor is a blur. It seemed to go by really fast and my adrenaline was pumping. The pushing particularly flew by and seemed to last only 20 minutes or so (your grandma assured me it was much longer than that). After only a couple of pushes, your head was coming down and the nurse encouraged me to reach down and feel your hair. I was shocked that there was in fact A BABY in there - and you were so close - and that you had hair - how wonderful! Instead of cursing about the pain, all I could say was "Oh my Gosh" over and over again. And then suddenly you were here - looking wonderfully healthy and beautiful and so big! I didn't want to take my eyes off of you. Your dad cut the cord and I held you close for while the midwife and nurses gave me a few stitches. I didn't feel a thing and was surprised when they told me it was all finished.

Your dad was so strong and supportive through the whole thing. I've always thought it was strange that men are now helping women through birth but I could not have hoped for better support. Even through the end where I was sure I would want him seeing all the gory details, he was right by my side and was the first to see you enter the world.







And now you are in the world and nothing will ever be the same. I've never been more grateful for anything in my life. I love you Lucy. Welcome home.