Sick girl

I got the vomit notice call on Thursday and we've been hanging out ever since. Sometimes literally.

Lucy hanging in the swing

It's so strange to see you lethargic and prone all day. This is one of maybe 2 or 3 other days I've seen you like this in your life.

Note the barf cup

I am truly grateful to have such healthy kids.

I hope you feel better soon. Especially since the 82nd Avenue Parade is tomorrow!

xo,
Mama

F*ing soul collage

I was in the worst mood this morning. My patience was nil. Everything was grating. And for no reason I can point to, I was just seeing red.

Stacey had asked me to come to a therapeutic gathering but I texted her saying it was probably not a good idea. Too much potential for collateral damage and all that. But she texted back saying it would be fine, come anyway.

I was tempted to stay home, but really eager to leave the house too. Feeling like the anti-nurturer, I certainly was not helping you or your dad. FYI - losing it in front of my kids is just about The Worst. Ditto for subjecting my sweet spouse to my inner crabby-pants. Feeling like a terrible person was just stacking guilt on to my terrible mood. Ugh.

So Stacey and Jamie picked me up after lunch.

Me: Sorry guys, I'm crabby and barely containing my temper. Plus my Tourette's is flaring and I can hardly keep myself from calling everyone an  f*er, so watch out.
Jamie (with sweet, calm disinterest): Ooo, really? I mostly prefer cock sucking bastard. Who do you want to call an f*er?
Me: You, my kids, that guy over there on the street. Everyone! You are all f*ers!
Stacey (singing): I'm an f*er, You're an f*er, we are all just a bunch of f*ing f*ers.

Grown up girlfriends are awesome.

I was already feeling better.

The next couple of hours were spent making "soul collages" which I had never heard of. It was wonderful though, very therapeutic and calming. That is really saying something for a Defcon 5 day.

The crafting exercise came smoothly and I enjoyed being busy with paper scraps that did not demand any social engagement.  The "reading" portion didn't feel very comfortable though, not surprising since putting anything into words (besides f*er of course) had not been flowing naturally all day.

I really should not joke about Tourette's as that is a very real affliction that I know nothing about experiencing. I call it that because I don't what it is. Sometimes my speaking brain and my thinking brain do not feel connected. Instead, it feels like my words are fed by pure emotion - usually white hot anger. This usually happens when I am super hormonal, or trapped somewhere I absolutely hate like in front of a dentist's drill or at Deseret Book. Unfortunately, you have met this side of me. She is pretty scary.

And here is her creation...

It will be interesting to do this on another day when I'm not mired in the mean reds.

BOOM!

Once upon a time, a writer for Murphy Brown wrote a single line of dialogue that changed my life.

I can't remember it exactly. It was a come back line said to some younger, sexier women who were belittling Murphy Brown, the heroine of the show. It was something like “Yes you are beautiful and young, but you know what?” (and this is the part I really remember) "I have an orgasm every time I have sex.”

(((( BOOM! ))))

My brain kind of exploded.

I did not even know what an orgasm was at the time, but just by the way she said it and the way the other women responded, I knew the remark meant something HUGE. And not too suprisingly, that something HUGE took me a while to figure out.

There is something more valuable to a woman than beauty and youth?

Expectations of sex can move beyond being desired?

Women are just as powerful and deserving as men?

Wow.

That is a whole lot of information for one line from a random TV show.

To note: your dad remembers the line too. (((( BOOM! ))))

I’m wondering if a bit of the proof in this article means we weren't the only ones. Did that one line start something HUGE for a lot of people?

I’m sharing this here just in case it does the same for you.

Treasures

Being a parent is almost always exhausting and often terrifying, but it comes with some serious perks. If I am not too overwhelmed to notice, every day brings me some amazing treasures.

A few from today....

Lucy's first bike ride!

Great walking (or spaceship driving) weather.

And this little gem from Henry.

"My favorite color is green because your eyes are green."

Aw. Can you believe my riches? I am one lucky mama.

Here comes the straight jacket

Daddy is sick. Daddy is hardly ever sick.

Mom tries to give dad a break. "Take a nap," she says and takes them upstairs for resting time.

30 minutes of banging and a poopy diaper later, she gives up on little people naps and shoos the kids outside to garden.

A few minutes of calm. Some digging. Ladder climbing. Excited squeaks and thick, jiggly worms.

Wonderful Uncle Jayson comes outside to mow the lawn. Little boy passes from uncle to mom over 15 feet of driveway. Except he never makes it.

"Where's Henry?"

"What do you mean, where is Henry?"

"WHERE IS HENRY?!"

Ack! Frantic searches through the house. Up the street. Down the street.

Wake up daddy! Wake up! Can't find Henry!!

Jogging the neighborhood, searching through bushes. Lots of hollering. Not a sign.

Adrenaline surging. Horrible ideas coming to mind.

Scuffle noises from the garage. Henry, locked inside, happily playing with various wheels.

Wheezing. Relief.

Some on the floor crying from mom.

Family ending up at OMSI around 5. The place is packed with vibrant, moving children - and many worn looking parents, staring out of hollowed eyes.

Clearly, we aren't the only ones.

Zombie Jesus and egg hunts

Henry, Easter pretty much means eggs and candy to you. This year we tried to explain the Jesus part more to Lucy. I'd say we got mixed results. For example, when showing her a picture of the people finding the empty tomb.

Lucy: Why are they surprised?
Dad: Because Jesus' body isn't there. He came back to life.
Lucy: Wow! That's never happened before... well, except for zombies.

Easter weekend was a bliss of candy, friends, new toys and SUNSHINE. It was great fun but a little crazy.

On Saturday, we did a "hunt and re-hunt" at the SwapShop. The kids hunted the eggs and then brought the empties to a "Refilling Station" where we stuffed and re-hid them to start all over. The older kids helped with the hiding and really got into the spirit of trading and helping the littles. We were out there for 2 hours! It was wonderful and sweet. Community events are not always easy, but so worthwhile and filfilling when everyone has a good time.

We finally got your sugar fueled bodies to bed around 8:30 and getting ready for the big event lasted late into the evening. In fact, the Eater Bunny didn't finish mowing the lawn at 9:30 pm (by the glow of utility light). Cleaning up the ransacked kitchen and putting out the goods took us well onto midnight. Yikes!

Easter morning was bunny specials and more eggs to find. We ate creamed eggs on toast (of course!) for breakfast. And for once you were good in church, might have been something to do with all the candy and toys we let you take.

 Harry, upon seeing a Peep for the first time: "Look Dad, it's a duck on a scooter!"

Later we are off to see friends and another egg hunt resulting in more candy than anyone needs (Lucy actually gave back all of her chocolate saying she's "had enough").

Yup. Our baskets are full and life is sweet. Thank you both for memories your bunny mama will treasure always.

Love you,
Mama