So are you allergic to church, or what?

We haven't taken you to church that much. Hasn't seemed like there was much point with you mostly squirming and sleeping and then hollering and wanting to run through the halls. Also, saying "I hate church" before, during, and after. Mmmm - so sweet and peaceful. Wait, what?

The fantasy.

Last year, our 1-4 pm church schedule was a death knell. Right over nap time? I don't think so. Attempts were brutal to say the least. Thou shalt not skip nap time has been added as the 11th commandment (and an important factor for preventing that killing one).

Closer to reality.

Starting this month, we have the favored 9-noon block. You're getting a little older and more able to sit still. We could try again, right?

Well, the trial run we had in Midway with Grandma did not go wonderfully. I had my suitcase bag of treats and activities that was supposed to bribe help you through in sacrament meeting. Instead, Lucy had pillaged all the food and Henry was crying and banging chairs before the bread got passed around. Lovely. I feel so good about myself.

I'm not the only one going in armed.

Mom was kind to point out that all of the other kids around us were awful too. And she was right!! It was funny and crazy to look around and see other families doing the same wrangling and bribing. And the quiet ones were mostly on iPads, iPhones and such; the sea of screens in her ward was almost funny. 

I mean - I'm Mormon, right. I grew up fidgeting in church and climbing under the seats for lost cheerios. But I behaved most of the time, right? And I mostly liked church. And I learned stuff. And my mom wasn't completely exhausted after church or anything. Or wait, was she?

Someone felt moved enough to turn this into art!

I guess this is just another example of how clueless kids are. I kind of thought Sundays with children would be uplifting and peaceful. But a a 70-minute(!) sit-still-and-be-quiet meeting with children is anything but!

I love that Googling "Kids in Sacrament meeting" got me this winner. Yup, that's how it is.

My poor mom. Getting 6 kids through church and fulfilling a calling or two must have been an absolute marathon. 

Anyway. This week, it was the REAL THING in our own ward.

And...

We weren't even close to ready in time for the 9 am meeting.

OK? Try again for primary at 10:10. 

Victory, we made it!

Until Henry was kicked out of nursery a few minutes later for scratching and biting the leader. 

Lovely.

So, straight jackets or atheism? What's your vote?