Just the kind of Monday Garfield warned us about

From start to finish, this has been a ridiculous day. I wish I could say it was a fluke, but with all the moving parts we have in our schedule lately, it's not the only one of its kind. In fact, this is kind of our new normal level of chaos. See if you can see just why it has me near cracking at the seams...

First of all, I don't usually work Mondays, but after some mayhem and missed days last week,  I had some urgent work to do today.

Fine. Found babysitter for Henry and got Lucy off to school.

I get in the car to go to go to work and it is out of gas.

I get to the gas station and realize I don't have my wallet.

Fine. Back in the car. Back home. Back to the gas station. And now, to work.

I get to my office needing to make some calls and I have no phone. Also I have no Internet as my ethernet cable has been dragged to the next room because a work order hadn't been completed to give someone else internet access. (Remember, I'm not supposed to be at work on Mondays so these things aren't supposed to be a problem.)

Fine. I go for my cell phone and I can't find it. Oops. Hoping I only left it in the car across campus.

Gah. Whatever.

Hurry. Hurry. Ignore the hopefully-not-too-urgent calls, drag back the ethernet cord and get some stuff done.

Dash out. Go straight to Henry's school for a behavior conference. Behavior conference? Yes. And while in the grand scheme of things, this might be an insignificant blip. For the moment, it feels just shy of completely overwhelming.

Get through the conference. Don't cry until I hit the parking lot. (+10 points!)

Get home to relieve the babysitter. Spend the next hour reading Mickey Mouse books on the bathroom floor while the boy is practicing but unproductive on the potty.

Way past nap time and starting to show. Henry won't nap so I lock him in his room at which point he - guess what... needs to poop!

I mistake his banging for "general banging" and not "I need to go to the bathroom" banging and ignore it just long enough to miss the big event and come into the room with a kid who has not napped but has pooped. In his room. He is also full of questions about why I wasn't there to take him to the potty.

Nice one mom. (-5,000 points)

Fine. Produce a mountain of laundry cleaning it up.

Snack. Go pick up Lucy.

**Bright spot**
Daddy shows up at school to meet us. Chances of survival rebound significantly. (+10,000 points!)

Home. Almost sit down to dinner as a family but just then Henry wants to go sit on the potty.

Spend most of mealtime in the potty reading Mickey Mouse books. Again.

Finally all sit down. Both kids have to be coaxed into eating any dinner. Henry defaults after 2 bites.

Fine. He does not feel well. Let's get him some medicine.

Get him in the stroller and start down the street until I realize that a stroller tire is completely flat.

Of course it is.

Into the car. To the store. Home again where both kids are starving because guess what? They didn't eat their dinner!

Oh lordy.

Fine. Feed them a snack while promising tomorrow night "you better eat at dinner! Because there is nothing afterward." Sure, sure mom. They do not seem moved.

While they make a mess with their snack, clean up the mess of dinner specifically cooked for the kids that they wouldn't eat. 

Pajamas. Tooth brushing. Some inane reading of fairy junk.

Upstairs: lights out.

Downstairs: preparing to start the whole rigamarole all over again tomorrow.

To top it all off, I have not seen my mom in 212 days. (-5 million points)