Don't be mistaken, men do have a say

I was talking with someone yesterday about abortion and their complaint was that men should have just as much a say about whether a pregnancy is terminated as a woman. The thing is - men do have a say in the decision; they just need to be informed enough to use it.

For both genders, this is the bottom line: if you have engaged in unprotected sex without a plan, it means you either a) didn't care about having an abortion, or b) didn't have the information and preparation that you needed. Too many people (men and women) fall into that latter category. If you are even thinking about sex (yes, this includes EVERYONE), you need this information. Shame on us if you didn't have it. Early education does prevent abortion!

So here are the facts

Engaging in unprotected sex has a high pregnancy risk!! Take heed and be prepared if you are not ready to take that risk (including the risk of abortion)!!

Every man needs to know:
First: the second you put sperm in another woman's vagina, you let go of the decision on what happens to it. It. Is. Gone.

• If it impregnates that woman and she decides to abort, or to complete the pregnancy - YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE. 
• If you really don't want to have an abortion, you cannot make that mistake.
• If you really don't want to have a baby right now, you cannot make that mistake.
• Take time to contemplate this decision and understand the exact laws in your state before you have sex.

Every woman needs to know:
First: even if you don't want to have an abortion, you might be pressured into it. While you should ultimately get to decide whether to abort: your parents, boyfriend, friends, boss, pastor, etc may push you one way or the other. The best way to take care of your baby is with the support of everyone in your life. Choosing to go against them in this decision may cost you your boyfriend, your family, your job, or your religion.

Everyone needs to know:
You can control your risk of pregnancy and abortion but you must understand how.

• You can abstain from sex all together.
• You can also choose sexual contact that doesn't risk a pregnancy such as oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation, etc.
• You can use birth control. Using two methods is probably a good idea if you are very apposed to the idea of an abortion. Any use of birth control requires an incredible amount of trust and agreement with your partner. And please make sure you are using it correctly.

Sorry if this is a rant, but I think it's important. I plan on trusting you and letting you use your own agency to make sexual decisions. THAT'S A BIG JOB FOR YOU. I'm working hard to prepare you to be ready for it. Making a mistake because you didn't have the right information is something I never want to happen for you.

Love you so much,

Mama