Cruel letdown leads to a very long morning

Lucy: "I wan Dane"

Mama: "Oh I know but Dane went bye bye. Remember?"

Lucy: "I wan Hapa"

Mama: "Papa went bye bye too."

Lucy: "I wan Dayson"

Mama: "Jayson went bye bye. Everyone had to go home."

Pause.

Repeat...and repeat...and repeat. About 700 times.

Of course, I can't really blame you. It was a blast having the family here. Here are you and Dane wearing your "ho ho ho" jammies. He can just move in any time.

Trimming the tree

We will be home for Christmas this year! This is a first for your dad and I - even though we've been married for 12 years. We are really going to miss seeing B and the rest of the family but it will be wonderful to have our own holiday. And I really won't miss the holiday rush at the airport.

For starters - we got a tree! You and Dane had a ball helping to decorate it.

And here it is finished with my festive tummy on display.

But what really marks the season is that you have gone from talking about "Boo" all the time to talking about "Ho ho ho."

So much to be thankful for

It's Thanksgiving today. Grandma and Papa Crow are here with Jamie, Jayson, and your beloved cousin Dane. Dinner is close to ready and the smell and sounds of preparation are filling the house. More friends will be arriving soon. We have a whole weekend of family fun and delicious food ahead of us.

You are having a nap and I am laying on the bed, treasuring the baby moving around inside of me. I simultaneously cannot wait to meet him and want to hold him inside me forever. My heart is overfull with gratitude for all the love filling this house, and the tiny baby filling my body.

I want to stop time and hold this moment in my heart always.

Thank you for being my daughter, Lucy. I love you and am so happy to have you in my life. Being a mom is really hard sometimes but it is also an amazing gift. Every day with you brings new challenges and treasures. Thank you for helping me learn and grow, and for all the joy you bring along the way.

With love,

Mama

Three more months

And no, that's not a small watermelon.

The beginning of a loooooong trimester

I hit my third trimester this week and have been pretty miserable ever since. It turns out my hips have separated early because of my surging hormones and they ache all of the time. Walking is difficult and sleeping sometimes impossible. A belt from the physical therapist seems to be helping somewhat but relief probably won't come until this baby is fully cooked and into the world.

On the bright side, I am happy to understand the problem. I had thought it was the baby's head causing sciatica and the yoga stretches and exercises I was doing to "remedy" the pain were actually making things worse. It is also a relief that the baby isn't causing the pain by sitting on a nerve. My superstitious side was seeing that as a really bad sign for the lifetime relationship just beginning.

But three more months. Of this, really? What sounded like nothing a week ago is now looking like an eternity.

And just to add the cherry on top, I got my first "Oooo, you must be due any day now." That phrase really should be banned from society. I'm guessing I'll be hearing it a lot from here on out. Hopefully I can keep myself from murdering anyone in response as I'd hate to miss Christmas and your high school graduation.

So - I'm sorry if I get crabby sometimes and won't carry you up the stairs anymore. I thought we could hold onto our norm for a while longer but the changes in your life are beginning and will continue,well, forever. For all of our sakes, I hope you will be just like your dad and look for the positive in whatever comes.

Love,

Your aching mama

Swine flu survivor

You've survived the dreaded bug! Nanny Jess and many other people we know have suffered miserably with it this year. Luckily, it was not too horrible for you. A few doses of tylenol and running a humidifier at night seemed to keep you comfortable enough. Mostly, we just had to keep you occupied away from crowds and wait it out.

Several days of fever and no appetite carved away a little more baby fat though. I was feeding you whatever you would eat which probably wasn't a great idea since now you think marshmallows and popsicles are perfectly cromulent breakfast foods. Whoops, I guess that makes parenting mistake #357.

We had your 18 month check up today and you have grown to 33 inches - which explains why I recently found you with matches (#358) and scissors (#359). The counters and table surfaces in the house are no longer out of your reach.

Despite the sickness and hazardous terrain, you seem to be thriving. Both eyes and all ten digits still intact! We hear new words from you every day and you are stringing them together way ahead of schedule. It is a wonderful gift to know what you are thinking about even if it turns out to be "treats" and "doggies" a lot of the time.

Love you,

Mama

Photoshoot - 6 months pregnant

We had a photoshoot at work and since I have the perfect prop (aka gigantor belly), I was conscripted for the women's health photos. This happened last time I was pregnant too.

You came by with your nanny, Jess. The photographer got just this one shot of you - and I love it. Oh my baby - you are so beautiful!