Old friends and new friends

There is just nothing in the world like old friends! You and I spent the weekend in Seattle with two of my oldest friends - girls that I've known since before I can remember. 

Barbara and Erin went through it all with me: all the sweet and hideous fashion trends; years of trick-or-treating and delivering valentines; youth camps and sleepovers; school dances and double dates; first kisses and heart breaks; family ups and downs...and all the amazing times in between. We share some of our earliest, best and worst memories. They've seen my ugliest hairdos and know all my darkest secrets. I KNOW these girls through and through - and I love them completely. Also, I'm pretty much indebted to them for life. I'm sure I wouldn't be who I am now if it weren't for them.

It was amazing and wonderful to see them and catch up on the years that we've been apart. The memories of all of our adventures together poured in and we couldn't stop talking. Barbara and Erin are both pregnant right now and we all have young families. We've changed in different ways but we still have a lot in common. Oh how I wish they lived closer!

Here we are on a 5th grade field trip to meet our penpals from west SLC. Erin and I earned the twin outfits cleaning windows for her mom. Barbara is the first one on the left with the very 80's bangs and side braid - oh yeah! I would definitely have chosen the same hairdo if I could have managed the necessary sculpting skills.

Here we are this weekend. Note the tired faces: we stayed up LATE both nights talking. ...and together in the latest fashion trend - we all bought hats at H&M.

Along with Barbara, Erin, Clay and Koen, you also made a new, furry friend. You were very entertained with Oscar and squawked every time he left the room.

I am so grateful that I grew up with such amazing people. All in all - there were about a dozen of us boys and girls the same age in our neighborhood. Most of us lived there all through high school so we really got to grow up together. It was an ideal youth and a wonderful gift from my parents and the fates. If we can help you have even one such friend, you will be very lucky indeed.

So here's to Barbs and Erin - and Kim, Emily, Tami, Lindsey, Carli, and all the others that I haven't seen in way too long. I love you guys. Thank you for all the great memories. I will be happy to have you call or stop by any time!

Daily inspiration: courage

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: not going all the way, and not starting.

~ Buddha

(at the end of an email from Ann Kopel)

Tastes better with bacon

On special occasions or when traveling, I like to try new foods partly because it's fun to eat something different and partly because it tends to makes the experience more memorable for me. I guess my memory is tied to my taste buds because I can hardly remember yesterday but I can easily recall the time and place I first ate snails, oysters, peanut sauce, kiwi, a whole crab etc. 

Well, for my birthday this year, I tried something new: a maple bar with...bacon. It was delicious but a little rich for my every day tastes. I'm guessing it will make my 33rd birthday memorable.

Moo!

It turns out I'm a good dairy cow, producing more rich, creamy milk than you've ever wanted. People say this is a good thing as it can be hard for moms and babies who don't have enough. But after 3 bouts of mastitis and numerous plugged ducts, I have experienced the downside to copious production and believe me, it's overrated.

At this point, I have amassed quite a supply of milk in the freezer. Trouble is, you have never really taken to the bottle and usually just wait for me to get home to drink your milk straight from the source. And now that you're into solid food, you are finding that there are all kinds of yummy things better than bottled milk. Thus, a lot of milk has been thawed, rejected and wasted or expired, still in the freezer.

So, today I emptied out most of our supply, giving it to a friend of a friend with twins who are not thriving as you have. Now two more cute, little people are living off these boobs. Maybe overproduction isn't so bad after all.

Happy Valentine's Day

Daily inspiration: service

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

(seen on the wall at the Kaiser Permanente pharmacy)

Coraline: window to my fears

We went to see Coraline yesterday and while I loved the movie, it seemed to lay bare all my anxieties about being a good mom.

The movie is about Coraline, a spirited and independent girl (as I hope you will be) who finds a magic door in her new house that leads to another world and her "other" family. 

Her first mom (her real mom) is the working mother who is crabby all the time, never cooks, and never seems to have time for fun and games. Clearly under the heat of a tough deadline, she doesn't even have time for groceries and the whole house looks neglected. 

Her second mom (the "other" mom) is the perfect stay-at-home mother who bakes up culinary masterpieces, has a great garden, and entertains like nobodies business. The fantasy starts to unwind however as Coraline realizes that the only way this mom can have a life is if  she takes over her children's lives and well, basically, this mom is a complete psycho.

See - this does lay my fears of life-balance out there! On one hand, I'm afraid of working too much, not paying enough attention to your life, and not having enough time for you or our family. On the other hand, I'm afraid staying at home all the time will leave me living my life through my children and, well, psycho. 

The movie also showed that mothers face inevitable drama with their daughters but dads seem to dodge this bullet; while the fantasy dad was a little more flamboyant and fun, her real dad seemed lovable too and he made her laugh even though the same behavior in her mom made her smirk. Hm.

Yes, this double standard does seem to be the way of things. I'm not sure if it's societal or natural but it is there. And the difficult stages of our mother/daughter relationship are out there too and coming no matter what. You're bound to say "I hate you", "you never let me do anything," and the much-dreaded "muthurrr" some day. And (while I will always, always, always love you) I am quite sure that there will be times when I don't like you very much either. 

One thing that makes me feel better in all of this is my own mom. Even though she had to work more than she liked, she found a work/home balance that met our needs and hopefully hers. It wasn't ever easy but she did great and I have always loved her. And even in the most trying times of our relationship (menarch at my end and menopause on hers couldn't have helped much, right?) we respected and loved one another. And now that I'm an adult, I absolutely adore her. In fact, she's one of my very favorite people in the whole world. We have a lot in common and get a long very well. 

Do you think the same could be possible for us? I sure hope so.

Mom and dad get a night off

Last night was the first evening we've left you at home with our new babysitter. I had a moment of panic as I left and Jess nearly laughed at me as I told her to call 911 if she even suspected you were choking. But once we were out of the house and sitting down at the beautiful Porto Terra for happy hour, I calmed down a bit. By dessert, it seemed like old times. Oh yeah, I do like this guy. I can go several hours without discussing poop. 

After dinner, we went to the see the Oregon Symphony. I haven't been for so long; I'd forgotten how amazing it is to be witness to such an event. In fact, part of the performance literally reduced me to tears. 

By ten, we were back at home with you. Somehow, you survived just fine without us and were sound asleep. Hooray. Date night is born.

Thank you Carolyn - for the tickets and for pushing us to go. And thank you Ber, for calling to make sure we were really going. You guys know me too well.

What's the opposite of a mullet?

The hair on top of your head seems to be growing a lot faster than the sides. I've taken to piling it on top of your head in a pony tail so it doesn't get too tangled when you roll around in bed. I'll have to find a bone to tie in there for that Pebbles look.

Eskimo pajamas

Putting you to sleep in a snowsuit seems to be a great way to transition you out of the cradleboard. It provides some restraint so your flailing arms don't wake you up but you still have a lot more movement options than you did when you were swaddled in. Added bonus: you look adorable in it.