A discouraging blow...

My mother is expecting a mission call. She turned in her papers months ago and after being held up in several places, they finally went through. Also, her requested companion got her mission call in the mail. This must be it!

And what luck! I couldn't believe I could fly in to see her on such an important day. How wonderful to be here to celebrate!

And then.

Instead of a mission call in the mail, mom got word of another lawsuit - ANOTHER LAWSUIT - from my crazy dad.

It is awful, appalling, frustrating, disappointing, heart wrenching, distressing, painful and HORRIBLE that this keeps happening again and again.

My sweet mother has been dealing with this since 1986!!!!

I'm so angry and sad, I could just...

No more la la la la Woo-cy

You are starting to pronounce your L's!

Another year of art

I'm calling this Lucy's Garden. It's a montage of artwork done by 3.5-4.5-yr-old Lucy B. I hope you remember her well. She is a magical creature to behold.



This doesn't cover even a small glimpse of the distant view of the tip of the ice berg in terms of what you've created over the past year. We have a whole heck-of-a-lot tacked up around the house, as well as a healthy supply still stashed in my office, and 400+ pieces scanned into the computer. And the last montage still hangs downstairs. But this collection of specials includes some genuine beauties. Most of them which you delivered right into my hands saying "Here mom, I made this just for you!"

Oh Lucy, thank you sweet girl. I do love your creations!

xo,
Mama

Play group

I have been helping with a new play group at the swap shop. It has been a fun place to make friends and share our favorite past-times. I have not managed to take many photos - what with trying to tell stories while keeping Henry from throwing toys and charging down anyone holding a truck (4 pm is not an ideal behavior time for a 2-yr-old) - but we are having fun. You both love puppets. Who knew?!

Backyard fairy houses (of course)

Bird nests out of fabric scraps 

Stuffed animal hospital 

Bandage crafts

Plus stickers,  face paints, fishy fun and several others.

I keep tabs on more of our fun on Pinterest.

In and out of Lucy's closet

Stole: Millie
Crown: Aunt Deb
Pirate belt: Grandma Crow
Nightgown you insist is a dress: Mama

Occasion: Sunday playtime

It's always a surprise to see how you put everything together. With such expressive fashion, I think of it as a window into how you see the world.

Perhaps, part of the reason I find your clothes so amusing is that I reach for the same pair of cords and a plain t-shirt every chance I get. No really - I wore the welts right off my last pair of cords and I'm working on doing the same to this one.

I have exactly one bejeweled cardigan. You dig through my drawers and pull it out frequently, strongly suggesting I wear it. Why, you seem to wonder, would I possibly not?

Well, I usually don't and most of its wear will come from you dragging it around after me, rather than from actual wash and wearings.

Is our difference in fashion due to our ages? To our completely different personalities? Undoubtedly both.

Although, I do remember some chuckles from Pam Smith when I once wore snow pants down to play with Barbara in July. Hm. Perhaps there is a pair of welt-less cords in your distant future after all.

Cultural melange

During the day: Spanish immersion con tu Niñera Cubana

Dinner: Chinese (with mama sneaking in some Mexican)

Evening: Indian night at the community center

Coup de gras (French!): throwing up in the pool and finishing off with a little gym time in jammies

Another day of life packed to the brim!

Solamente en Español por favor

We have a new nanny this week. Karelys is from Cuba and speaks about 50 words of English. These words do not include hot cocoa, nap time, diaper, or pretty much most of the words you depend on - las palabras necesitamos en nuestra casa. The language divide is HUGE.

Three days in, we are all still struggling a bit. My high school Spanish is coming back in bits and pieces, filling in the gaps with Spanglish. Often, I've asked ¿No son palabras? - "Those aren't words?" and she laughs and nods yes. And I keep adding Spanish words into English conversations plus the odd Norwegian word appearing out of nowhere in both. Clearly my brain is working overtime trying to sort things out.

Hopefully your young, pliant brains will be adapting faster than my old, crusty one.

Why Spanish? ¿Por qué, este desafío?

Everywhere we go – literally Every Where We Go – people are speaking Spanish. The co-op. The library. Stores. Restaurants. Parks. It is a beautiful language and tied to some rich cultures I'd like our family to be a part of.

Will this work?  No sé. I don't know

Is this crazy?  Probablemente. Probably.

I guess we will see in another week or so. Que será, será as they say. 

Te amo, mis hijos. Muchos & muchos.

The opposite of stagnant

Henry, your little brain is working all the time. Lately you LOVE worksheets. You ask "Can I do a worksheet?" at least 3 times a day. So we all sit in the kitchen and go through this book that Grandma got Lucy. She can do the worksheets on her own and you do remarkably well with a little extra explanation and help.

Yesterday, we got to the section on opposite questions and you knew all of them. I, on the other hand, was having a tough time answering your "office-it" (opposite) questions.

"What's the office-it of shoot?"

"What's the office-it of car?"

Oh dear, not easy to explain, especially when I'm the opposite of energetic and thinking clearly.

Love you Mr. Smartypants FiveCrows.

For your 4 and a half birthday? A broken TV.

Hey Lucy lou,

It's been a tough month with you. You have not been liking me very much. Those limits we set: not your friends. That rigid schedule we live by: not so fun. Those boring tasks we have to do every day: torture. Those groceries we buy instead of toys: lousy. Why oh why can't we just give you everything you want all of the time? Life could be eating candy, shopping for barbies, and watching TV all the time, right?

Well, wrong. Even though you glimpse that possibility, it's just not going to happen. And that makes you MAD. At me. Because apparently I am the one standing in the way of a life of bliss.

See this dynamic. It is awful.

I don't know if it's like this for other 4 and a half year olds? Do they all see so clearly the possibilities? Do they all blame mom?

We had to change something. It just can't be me in your way anymore.

So, we started with the TV. And it has been "Broken" for 2 weeks now. You immediately asked questions about using the iPad, phone, etc so we are just barely getting away with this. But it is helping. A bit. More changes are probably coming as we sort this out.

I love you so much. I even love your hedonistic, embrace the joys of the world, side. But I am not the bank of resources and pleasures you think I am. I am not the best friend. I am definitely not the all-knowing, powerful master of your fate.

I'm just your mom.

Who loves you very much.

So much that I want to encourage your personal growth and friendships and intelligence and service and all the sides of your dynamic and developing self.

Loving you means encouraging the best in you. And making sure you brush your teeth. And setting limits on TV and candy.

Your love for me requires some trust that I really do have your best interests at heart.

I really hope we figure this out before you are 5. And definitely before you are 15.

Waking up laughing

I close my eyes to remember

mornings when I have woken up laughing.

Utter lightness and joy

eager to roll over and fill you in on the joke.