Hawaiian "igvencher"

The sun was high in the sky today and there were hardly any clouds. The ocean waters were lit up all the way to the ocean floor. It felt like I was floating on top of a giant fish tank. The warmest, biggest, most exciting fish tank of all time!

Here's a confession: I have never flown over an ocean or to a place I didn't know all by myself before. I feel brave and flexible and maybe just a little bit wild. Of course I really am all of those things, igvenchering is what parenting you has been all about. So igvenchering, I am - and it is every bit as amazing as I wanted it to be.

I swam with turtles today(!), joined schools of fish, and followed two puffer fish across the reef. I didn't have the heart to scare them enough to make them pop up but I was hoping something else would. Nothing did. Now, I think that's good. Everything was peaceful. Even the sea snake didn't scare me today. Probably because it was a much more reasonable size and the arm-thick one I saw yesterday.

As I write this, and as you read this, those very animals are still out there. Living an ocean, three time zones, a climate, and ecosystem away from home. How amazing that I got to be with them today!

Thank you for supporting my trip. For being good helpers. For all that you do to make our family happy and my life wonderful and rich. I plan to spend years returning the favor, including bringing you here because you have to see this!

But the beauty of this place is much more than I bargained for. It is wonderous, breath-taking, and soul-filling. The smell in the wind, the sound of the birds, the feel of the sand and the water, the amazing views – my senses are on overload trying to take it all in. I feel unbelievably rich and so happy to be in this world, living this life that I lucked into.

Our spinning planet might look small in our giant universe. But it is filled with so many beautiful things to see, trips to take, oceans to cross, animals to meet, and places to experience. I hope I will raise you to be brave and flexible and maybe just a little bit wild – so someday, you will be ready to igvencher on your own too.

Xoxo,

Mama

Today's script for The FiveCrows Show

SEASON 7, EPISODE 252 

(the one with the mouse)

OPENING CREDITS
Series of clips. Family in various cheesy situations and funny moments. Theme song and credits accompany.

FADE IN

1. BASEMENT PLAYROOM - DAY
Mom is mumbling to herself, struggling to put together a car track without instructions. Henry is several feet away, playing with toys. Mom looks exhausted.

Henry: "Hey mom, I think I just heard a mouse!"
Mom with a look of pure horror: "Really, where? What?"
Henry: "Well...or it could have been a toy."
Mom: "Do you really think it was a mouse?"
Henry: "I dunno. Maybe."
Mom: "Yikes!"

Camera zoom, fade transition to show Mom's brain is imagining a scary mouse.

Accompanying sound bite: classic screams from Psycho

{LAUGHTER}

2. KITCHEN - DAY
Mom and Blanca tidying kitchen, conversing in English/Spanish.

Blanca: "I'm sorry but I could not take care of the mouse."
Mom looking alarmed: "What? Where?"
Blanca: "You didn't see it? It is in Henry's room."
Mom with look of pure horror: "Dead?"
Blanca: "Yes."

Camera zooms, fade transition to show Mom's brain is imagining a mice infestation.

Accompanying sound byte: the Jaws theme song

{LAUGHTER}

3. BACKDOOR ENTRANCE - DAY
Kids and parents coming in the door after a long day. Parents look exhausted.

Mom: "I think we had better nip this in the but ASAP. I say traps, poison, and anything else they got."
Jeremy: "OK. I'll walk down with Harry and get some supplies."
Lucy: "But mom. I don't want to kill mice!"

Camera follows Jeremy and Henry down the block, emotional conversation between mom and Lucy fading into the background.

CLIP TO: Dad and Henry walking home, carrying huge bags of supplies.

Accompanying sound bite: primary song/dirge, "Pioneer children sang as they walked"

{LAUGHTER}

4. INT. DINING ROOM - DAY
Camera tight on the family going through table of mice extermination info and products. Lucy is clearly upset about killing mice. Henry is clearly excited about setting traps. Parents look exhausted.

Jeremy: "OK. I put them in the attic, crawl space and all over the house."
Henry: "Dad, let's do some more." Lucy: "I'm going to my room!"
Mom: "OK. Just be careful on your way there."

Zoom out to show that the table is surrounded by a giant game of house trap.

Accompanying sound bite: Mouse Trap™ jingle, circa 1985

{LAUGHTER}

5. INT. KITCHEN - DAY
Mom is cutting vegetables and doing other food preparation. Dad enters room to find her. Parents look exhausted.

Jeremy: "Did you look at the dead mouse in Henry's room?"
Mom: "It's behind his bed. I peeked in there and then ran away."

PREGNANT PAUSE

Mom: "Why? What is it?"
Jeremy: "The 'mouse' is just a wad of hair and lint."

Mom looks sheepish. Dad looks even more exhausted than before (is that possible?).

{LAUGHTER}

6. PARTY IN CLOUD HEAVEN - DAY
Greek gods are looking down at the FiveCrows family, laughing, and lounging with a glass of wine.

Hera: "That was classic!!!"
Hermes: "Who knew I could cause so much trouble with lint.
Athena: "Humans are crazy."
Hades: "Well you know...cerberus sheds. A LOT."
All: celebratory toasts and laughing maniacally

{LAUGHTER}

Camera zooms out.

FADE OUT - ROLL CREDITS

Accompanying sound bite: Mouse Trap™ jingle, circa 1985

Perpetually late to the migration

Sometimes, I can be extremely obtuse. I tend to be the last to get something that everyone else sees coming from miles away.

Like after we got married and then thought, now what? I had absolutely no idea. For a long time I kept expecting Jeremy to go home, as if our marriage was just a really long date. It took me weeks to realize living with him was the new normal.

Or when I gave birth and couldn't believe there was an actual baby to take home. What? Really? For some reason I found this completely shocking.

Our planet's distress is another of these situations. I have read about it for years. We have even donated to causes, participated in projects, and made household changes trying to help. But for some reason, this major topic of discussion and action has never really sunk in. Until today.

Finally, after reading another article about salmon dying in our rivers – my rivers – the massive extent of what is happening hit me. Really hit me. I promptly threw up my breakfast and now I can't stop crying. Major changes to our planet are really happening. We have really done this great an horrible thing. And the greatest extent of our recklessness has basically happened over MY lifetime.

We have plans to meet friends today in the city. Honestly, I don't know if I can get myself together.  I have to go into the other room and face you. I really don't know how I am going to explain why I am so upset.

Perhaps I will tell you that I just found out my mother is very sick and my brothers and sisters are dying. Because it's true. And if it were the humans in my family, and not the earth and the salmon – I am not sure this hole in my chest could feel much worse.

The mother that Mormonism is missing

There is a lot of discussion in Mormonism right now about women's roles. Some women want to know why they can't have the priesthood and take on the roles that men are ordained to. Many men and women are concerned about sexism and want to see changes that address masogyny.

I am interested in the discussion but I am not passionate about it. The church has a path and will make course corrections as it has done in the past. I am looking forward to some very much needed changes that will hopefully come in time.

But the changes I am hoping for are hard to put into words because they are BIG.

The female that I feel is missing from our religion is not connected to the priesthood or really, anything that happens inside a church building or temple. She is Mother Nature.

She is the butterfly, the eagle, the salmon, the lamprey.

Water is sacred. Air is sacred.

She cares more about our communities and relationships than she cares about our individual choices. One person's choice to smoke, steal, or lie is not nearly as important as a whole community that relies on a power source that is polluting the environment for everyone.

She is our mother. We are in her home. And as a whole, we are not very good house guests.

This is a holy Mormon temple. It is a place that I have an unusual relationship with (for a Mormon that is). I felt from the beginning, that it was not the place for my passion and my work.

But the world's splendor is Her church. The river is Her temple. And it has become mine.

(Looks like the video was taken down. I think this is the same one here:
http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/158947/We_Are_All_One__An_Inspiring_Short_Film_To_Watch/)