Found this on an old, soon-to-be-cancelled blog that I'll repost here to preserve. (And even though it says "26 months," I'll update it to say that it's now been 8 years and it still feels both like an instant and an eternity!)

-July 2010-

I’ll just start out by saying that this has been both the shortest and longest 26 months of my life and although I can remember a time when you both didn’t exist, I can no longer imagine you not being here and brightening your mother and my lives.

Thank you Lucy and Henry, for the wonder you have as you explore this world; and thank you for reminding me of how truly amazing it really is. Here’s to continuing on this voyage together and that the journey will be interesting and full of laughter and joy.

Pumpkin pie for breakfast!

"Grandma Crow always cooks the best food," says Lucy. And no one can argue. We LOVE grandma's cooking. This trip, she treated us to squash (grown from seed this summer) cooked to perfection into a delicious porridge. YUM! An instant fall favorite. We will be making this again! Probably a lot this year since I have two squashes to bake and put into our freezer.

Pumpkin Pie Porridge

• 2 cups steel cut oats (you can substitute rolled oats in a pinch)
• 6-7 cups water 
• 1½ cups pumpkin or cooked squash
• ½ tsp salt

Add after cooking:

• 1 T pumpkin pie spice
• 1 T vanilla extract

Top with:

• ICE CREAM (suggested) AND/OR peanut butter powder, brown sugar, chopped nuts, fruit

Combine oats, water, pumpkin and salt in a slow cooker and stir until it's fully combined and there are no lumps of pumpkin. Cook on warm for 7-8 hours and then turn the slow cooker on the low setting and stir. Add the pumpkin pie spice and vanilla extract and let the oatmeal cook for about 15-30 more minutes to thicken it up if needed. Stir once more and then serve warm with a heaping spoon of ice cream in the middle.

Read-walking

Henry, welcome to the family sport. Please watch out for traffic and thunderstorms. They can both take you by surprise.

Love,
Mama

A not-so-sick day

My dear Henry,

You engineered your way out of school today. You played "sick" and I let you because a kid at school who does not want to be in school is probably trouble. And of course, every kid has got to try playing sick a time or two. So instead of the many things I planned to do, I went with the goal of making the day as b-o-r-i-n-g as possible. A day of naps and quiet time will surely cure any temptation to do this again, right?

We succeeded until about 2 pm when I found a 6 volt battery. Oh dear. Insta-happiness. You promptly used it to make your very first light bulb.

It worked but the filament burnt out pretty quickly. (Thank you Thomas Edison for the 1,000 attempts it took to work through that problem!)

Burnt out filament sadness.

Fortunately for you (and unfortunately for my boredom plan), you found plenty of other things to engineer. You have moved past following circuit diagrams to making up your own inventions.

My very small engineer with his circuit tackle box

Is a 6V battery more powerful than a AA? What is the world's biggest battery? How can you tell if a battery will burn a motor out? How can you make a battery? How do rechargeable batteries work?

Your head is spinning with questions.

I look forward to helping you puzzle them out. But how about AFTER school next time, eh?

Love,
Mama

In search of safe harbor

Today is my dad's 79th birthday. Here he is when he was close to my age. I wish I could talk with him as a contemporary.

He was a complicated dad and we had a complicated relationship. But my love for him is simple and real.

Since his death in February, I have been stumbling through memories, trying to remember the great times with him in detail, commanding my brain to dump the rest.

I grieve for his thick, rough hands and his laugh. The sound of him working on drawings - paper flipping up and down and the click of his slide rule.

We write our numbers the same. I do not have his machine-shop smell. We both mix up words and names when angry ("Millie, Ginny, Angela, Margie!"). I don't fall asleep easily like he always did.

One snippet that has been consistently fresh in my mind is the sound and feel of his voice as I rested somewhere against his side. Me, small. Him, the biggest man I can imagine, a safe harbor when we were out adventuring.

It would be awkward if an adult shuttled over, squeezed their body into someone else's chair, chewed on their own fingers for a while, and then just spaced off and hung out.

But that was pretty much life as a kid at family get togethers or church functions or what not. When I was tired, or waiting to leave, or hoping for candy, or whatever; I could find someone to waller against for a while and then just Be. And I loved it.

I remember one time very clearly, resting with him on a bench at Lagoon. I had been on so many rides that it felt like I was still moving. It was after dark, I was exhausted and hungry, but also sick to my stomach. So I left the commotion to sit still, leaning on him while we waited for the other kids to finish. Later, he bought me a piece of pepperoni pizza that might still be the best thing I have ever tasted.

Your other grandfather is one our minds today too.

Your dad just phone conferenced with the probate lawyers finally working through papa's estate. Papa started, but didn't officially finish his will. Unfortunately, an unfinished will was not admissible and federal probate on tribal lands on trust takes a looooooong time. So grandma and the family have had to wait to take care of several things. There will be more waiting before it is through.

Theeeeeeeen...

The kids toured their new school and met their teachers.

And the school dog. And the chickens.

Theeeeeeeen...

We packed up, heading to the high dessert for a CRITFC meeting at Kah-nee-ta resort. Plus lots of playing at pools, starting with a family totem pole...

Adventure. Love and loss. Change and hope. So many highs and lows packed into one day. And my emotions are a breath from exploding. My throat and chest have that pressured feeling and it would be so easy to lay down and cry.

I feel so fortunate for what's here. So utterly hollow to recognize what is not. So lost in memories that touch on just about every feeling along the spectrum. So much to process.

I could really use a safe harbor to lean against while I catch up. And just Be.

The story of the Earth

“In every outthrust headland, in every curving beach, in every grain of sand there is the story of the earth.”
~ Rachel Carson

We had our first geography play group today. I was hoping to do several this summer but we will see how it goes.

We learned about continents. And we made our own continent, complete with plants, waterways, a volcano, and a lego city.

I love this planet we live on! I hope I can we can learn more about it together this summer.

Love,
Mama

Breakfast from the future

Cooking in the olden days...my mom with Millie and Ginny

In the olden days of my youth, there was no Harry Potter. There was no Internet, no Youtube, no Crocs, no Legoland in American and no such thing as an "app for that."

Life pre-Google...Millie, me, Angela, Will, Dave and Ginny

AND we had to make white sauce on the stove. Which took FOREVER (aka, at least 8 minutes) and you had to stir the whole time so it didn't burn. Now, we can just make it in the microwave in 2 minutes. That means a family favorite, creamed eggs on toast, is super quick to make in the morning. Life in the future is SO wonderful!

Creamed Eggs on Toast

1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 tablespoon plain flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
4 hard boiled eggs
Jam and pepper (optional)

Combine milk, butter, flour and salt in microwaveable container. Cook on high for 2-4 minutes, stirring every minute until it bubbles up and thickens. Stir in boiled eggs and serve over toast.

Note: an audiobooks is not required for this recipe but I find it adds that something *extra*. For breakfast cooking, I'd recommend The Olivia Series read by Dame Edna - a fantastic character who HAS been around since my youth.

Feminism happened to this book

He's a fan

I think the best part of a garbage hauler's job has got to be seeing eyes of little kids at the window when they come by.

This is where Henry has been, every Tuesday morning since he could crawl over to the window and pull himself up.

Tonight's moon portend no good to us

The car is stuffed to the gills for spring break yurt camping. I made the reservations ages and AGES ago and we've been wishing and planning ever since – until tonight, when we are FINALLY loaded and ready to go. Then oops, we realize that we've been looking at someone else's reservation these months since it's been on our calendar, and we don't actually have a place to stay until tomorrow. Ah well, that's how it goes. Glad we are finding out in the driveway and NOT at the pitch dark campground where everything is now closed.

This evening's episode of HURRY UP and get in the car (hang out in there for while, climb out and follow bigs around while you try to figure out what's happening, whine a little, now whine a lot, get sent to the car, sit in the car for a while, pretend the trip has started and start playing, remember that you haven't left the driveway yet, realize that you probably are never leaving, repeat, repeat) and wait reminds me of many a trip when I was your ages.

I hope the rest of the trip goes more smoothly. But if it doesn't - at least I can promise you some lasting memories.

xoxo,
Mama

Train fun for kindergarten class

Henry, we had to cancel your train birthday party because of Grandpa's funeral. Instead, we had a party with cousins while we were in Utah. And this week, we brought some train fun to your kindergarten class.

Download PDF

You did a great job on the train math and reading sheets. Using markers and jewel stickers on the train cutouts worked great.

Download PDF

It was perfect kindergarten fun. Especially stamping your tickets with the super-industrial hole punch that I brought home from my dad's house. He would have loved to do that himself. Probably would have even mad the big letters like they do on The Polar Express.

I almost made it through the whole thing without shedding a tear. Almost.

Love,
Mama

50 BOOKS - It's game ON!

You have both read 50 books since December. YAY!!!!

To celebrate, we played some games that require reading: Quidler and Zingo Word Builder. Plus some Minecraft chess (your idea). Not sure that really fits in with the reading thing but I made it for you anyway. Good fun with mode podge!

At 100 books, we will be going to GREAT WOLF LODGE!!!! to play the great adventure games and swim like crazies. I'm' so excited to have readers!

xo,
Mama

Sasquatch sighting

Look who's out on the field looking like a lacrosse pro! Dad had to take you to three different stores to find all of the XXS pads (the smallest they make). So here we go with three hours of practice every week, plus games; I dearly hope you enjoy it as much as you did the first night.

And here, I was just thinking that you might finally graduate from your usual one load of laundry per day quota (yes - that is A LOT of laundry since your birth). Recently, all of that sitting inside during kindergarten has cut into your messy adventures. But lacrosse + muddy fields + sweaty gear should put us right back on track. The big question now is how long until your pads start smelling like bigfoot incarnate. Sasquatches?! I can only think a parent though of the team name in a carpool van after a hot game.

Oh well. I love you - dirty laundry, stinky feet and all.

xoxo,
Mama

Home, stinky home

We got home to a mountain of laundry and sour milk. But – thanks to good friends – also food in the freezer, two pots of yellow flowers (my dad's favorite), some potted succulents (my favorite), and delicious chocolate. I'm exhausted and wrung-out. But I feel so lucky and peaceful.

Your boots are the stinkiest thing I have ever met! Ever! So I washed them with bovine far, then baking sofa, then dish soup, and last oxi-clean and laundry soap. Pretty sure I'm breaking the manufacturers recommended rules. But the stink!!! Military grade tools be required to get rid of it. Luckily, I have no mustard gas or grenades handy.

The internet recommended I fill them with cotton balls soaked in alcohol. Great! But I don't have cotton balls - not so great. So now what? I'll tell you what - TAMPONS are now hanging it of your boots. Will I have to explain to out what tampons are tomorrow? Probably. Would that awkward conversation be worth ridding the buses of the STANK that is living in your boots - I sure hope so.

Love you so much, stinky feet and all.

Mama

SIX! Years of Henry

"But I thought dad was that tallest man in the world," says Henry.

We took the #6 bus downtown and walked about SLC, finding various adventures.

Then finished things off with some Angry Bird cupcakes at Grandpa's viewing.

Not exactly the birthday party we planned but you took it all in stride, even when you had no idea what a "viewing" was. (I don't think the mortician or I will ever forget hearing you whisper "Hey Michael, there's a dead guy in there.") You loved 'worm races' with your cousins.

May your satisfaction in your parents always be this high. And your expectations in birthday parties always be this low.

We love you oh so much.

Love,
Margaret

Just like that - my dad is gone

My dad died today of a heart attack in the parking lot of a police station. He was on his way to the ER because of chest pains but didn't think he could make it. The people at the police station knew him, understood he was in cardiac arrest, and did everything they could to save him. But after 45 minutes of recitative effort, they let him go.

I am sad that - so abruptly - he is just gone. And that he seemed so manic this Christmas, going on and on about nuclear-spent-fuel, that I did not take you back to see him one more time. And that with his surgery coming up, we didn't get him to our house for a visit. And that all the next times that I have a question about his family history, or want someone to show me how to use a certain tool – I can't just pick up the phone and call him.  And that as you get older and more interested in things like tools and engineering and planes and boating, and all the many things he knew about – I won't be able to take you to see him. There is really no other person in the world like him; it will be difficult for you to understand him from stories and photos alone.

I am sorry that I will be leaving you for a few days. And that I will be a wreck as I work through this. Henry - your birthday party has to be canceled. As does mine.

But my gratitude is also great. I have five amazing siblings, aunts and uncles, my mom. Others that will help us through.

The kitchen looks like a love bomb went off. Between dear friends, the Mormons, and the Irish (ahem, Ber) - we will be eating well for weeks.

With all the love in my heart,
xoxo
Mama

Oldsville, I have arrived.

Spoiler alert! You will grow up to be the tooth fairy

Oh yes, we have all been here.

Playing the "tooth fairy" has to be one of the strangest parts of being a parent. Sneaking in at night to take your weird, bloody teeth? For money? Who thought this was a charming idea? I don't quite get it but we're playing along anyway

For the first tooth you lost - we were on it! New toothbrush and toothpastes, cute-as-heck note from the tooth fairy, Sacagawea coins, stealthy exchange under the cover of night. We could have been gold contenders if there were Tooth Fairy Olympics!

Fast forward to tooth #5 and I am carrying on my parents' tradition of making a half-hearted effort to conceal the truth, pretty much forgetting about it unless you remind me, and giving random gifts found around the house for your prizes.

Don't worry, you are making out like a bandit. The guilt from forgetting a night and not having any ready prize bumped your cash payment up to $5 - in the form of 1 dollar bill, 4 quarters, 10 dimes, 20 nickels, and a Thomas Jefferson dollar coin (pretty much what we could scrounge out of the change drawer last night at 11 pm).

What bounty!! I wish the tooth fairy had been so generous after I reminded my parents that my tooth had been under my pillow for a few days.

And now I can relate to this end of things.

Alas, Henry's first tooth should be coming out soon. We'll try to get back to our A-game for that special day.  Not sure this tooth fairy can promise anything beyond a linty sucker after that.

Love,
Mama

Work Party: Valentines for Vetrans, and Homeless Care Packets

We are getting ready to have a work party for Dad's birthday. We will be making valentines for veterans and homeless care packets like we did last year on MLK day. Several people have asked what we included so here are lists and photos.

Valentines for Veteran's included:

• Deck of cards
• Pen
• Rolled up sudoku and word puzzle
• Tissues
• Gum
• Candy and/or snack
• Packaged in valentines bag with personalized tag

Kids can make tags from plain paper or use stickers and labels that say "Happy Valentines Day Veteran. Thank you for serving our country!" The VA Hospital was happy to hand these out in their in-patient and out-patient facilities.

Homeless care packets included: 

• Water bottle 
• Tissues Snack 
• Gum 
• Socks and dental care tools as available 
• Packaged in gallon-sized ziplock bag, decorated with stickers

We bought most of the supplies from the dollar store and Oriental Trading Company. Lining them up in plastic bins made assembly go fast and easy. Kids and adults did a great job!

¡Me gustan Taco Tuesdays!

No cooking, no cleaning up, and fun times with estos animales.

It's a dream. A muy delicioso dream.

Reading's put a spell on you

Dear Lucy,

This year, you have quickly become a voracious reader. You favor fantasy series, especially ones that feature characters from fairytales or greek mythology. You have NO interest in books about typical kids; Ramona Quimby, Junie B, and the like do not capture your imagination or your interest for long.

But there is such a thing as being TOO EXCITED about a book you are reading. As in so excited that YOU CANNOT SLEEP! This has happened on and off with the Harry Potter books. You were falling asleep late, sneaking back up to read, and then waking back up at 2 pm ranting about the book and asking to listen to stories so you could get back to sleep.

So we created a new rule, NO reading anything new after 7:30 pm. If you've read it before, great. But if you don't know how it ends, you can't read it before bed! This works well if we remember to enforce it.

We forgot last night. And lo and behold,  Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban had you coming downstairs an hour past bedtime saying, "But I can't believe Sirius Black is..." I missed the rest as your dad steered you back to bed.

You're too funny girl. So happy that you love books. But we will be remembering to enforce our rule tonight.

Love you,
Mama

The Alien Game

In the "alien game," I pretend to be an alien from a distant planet, who doesn't know anything about anything. It is your job to be the ambassador conducting a tour, and introducing me to everything. I like that it is a good way to rest my brain. And it is interesting to see how you define and describe things.

Lucy is often very descriptive and specific.

Lucy: That is a cat.
Alien: What is "cat"?
Lucy: A cat is a cute little animal?
Alien: What is "cute"?
Lucy: Cute is something sweet to look at, or huggable.

Now, I have "sweet," "look," or "huggable" to ask about. Thus - without much thinking from me, we can go on forever.

Henry, on the other hand, is very concise, circular, AND fast. It is almost weird how you can define things in such easy terms.

Alien: What is "girl"?
Henry: A girl is a baby mom.
Alien: What is "mom"?
Henry: A mom is a grown girl.

Here, I'm only left with "grown." This kind of looping makes it harder for me to continue without paying careful attention. I have to work hard to keep it going.

I would say it has always been obvious that your brains work differently. But it is eerily strange how obvious it is after playing this game.

Snowman soup

Important fact: snow that just won't stick to make a snowman is absolutely PERFECT for Snowman Soup. Since this non-sticky snow is the most common kind we get in Portland, it's pretty lucky that we thought up this recipe.

We've been making this for ages, every time we have enough snow. It isn't quite as fun as sledding, building a snow fort, or (yes) making an actual snowMAN - but it brings fun into that little bit of snow that just isn't good for much else.

Here's the recipe:

Snowman Soup

• 1 Snowstorm
• Large bowl 
• Concentrated Crystal Light (preferably lighter colored flavor, or substitute with any punch or juice)

It is preferable to put out cookie sheets early in the storm to make it easy to gather clean snow.

Fill your bowl with the cleanest snow you can find. Bring into the house (traditionally this comes along with a trail of small puddles). Serve into smaller bowls and top with concentrated punch.